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Peak Mountain 3

Erectile Dysfunction

FA Jamie Coin
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UPDATED 

Description

18 million men in the United States currently suffer from erectile dysfunction, and this is no laughing manner.

The Erectile Dysfunction found within the loins of Spearfish Canyon is a short, powerful and technical climb found on a short, exceptionally blonde hunk of rock which is very easy to locate.

Erectile dysfunction or ED is the inability to achieve or sustain an erection suitable for sexual intercourse.

This particular climb has a very difficult start that requires some beta. Think out your moves before leaving the deck.

Problems with erections may stem from medications, chronic illnesses, poor blood flow to the penis, drinking too much alcohol, or being too tired. It can be a symptom of some serious health problems as well. See a doctor if you can't get an erection.

Immediately after the first bolt, you will be shaking and wondering, "My foot...WHY CAN'T I GET IT UP...to that foothold?"

Lifestyle changes, medications, and other treatments are often used to treat ED.

At the second and third bolts, you will more than likely be very pumped...maybe even torched as you think to yourself, "My hand...I CAN'T GET IT UP...to that handhold."

Lifestyle changes, medications, and other treatments are often used to treat ED.

After a series of difficult, pumpy moves, you will find yourself only about twenty five feet off the ground, but will feel as if you've climbed two hundred feet. You will be looking at the anchors and thinking to yourself, "OH MY GOD...my left hand...I CAN'T GET IT UP...to that nice jug!"

Some steps you can take to prevent ED include: stopping smoking, exercising regularly and maintaining a healthy weight.

And remember, even though impotence is nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings." this climb might leave you with a few hard feelings. Forget an onsight, this thing is basically the evil twin of a route called The Squall, which is located at The Thunderhead. Both of which are very HARD routes with grades that are not SOFT. Think you're gonna just gonna walk up a Spearfish Canyon 5.10+? Think again.

This climb is worth getting on over and over again until you finally redpoint. And remember, if Mike Cronin's worst nightmare actually does come true, and this remote climbing area is extremely crowded, and if you have to wait in line and can't get on can't get on something long and hard, then you might as well mount something short and stiff.

Or if you only have four quickdraws to your name, then Erectile Function might be just what you want.

Location

Right next to the Star Wars wonder twins. Was I the only one thinking, "Incest?" during The Empire Strikes Back?

Protection

Four Quickdraws, a rope that is at least 30 meters long, stick clip, a belayer who is willing to give you a spot at the start, a belay device that is NOT the Grigri 2...a lot of patience and open shunt anchors.